Chicken and Wine

Chicken and Wine

  

Chapter Two. Part Four

Cozied up once again in the same position as before, she trapped his fingers in an expecting snatch, just as he pushed play again.

Nicely relaxed, and with an occasional in and out of his fingers, the absurd film continued, with the set in the eerie flickering burning lights of dozens of papal emblazoned  candles placed on palm skeletal hands - along with its previous owners skull, were nailed at angles from the grey stone walls that went to form a curved ceiling. The apex was black with soot from the century long annual tradition of priests fucking nuns to death.

“Did you know that at incredible cost, this was actually filmed in the secret vaults of the Vatican?” He spoke as he nudged to get her attention.

Without removing her gaze from the screen, but the wriggling of her hips against his hand suggested she wanted a bit more finger fucking. “Ja, Ja, I am sure it was and,” She pauses. “Oh no, this is really over the top!”  

The scene continued with the profoundly obese dead nun’s body being tossed on a growing pile of tangled corpses, semi-naked in ripped habits and cowls, covered in various quantities of wet glistening semen.

Then two priests, crossing themselves, dragged violently a screaming nun  to the ancient granite mausoleum, its lid now covered by a morbidly obese priest on his back. His Cossack was raised to expose a massive cock protruding below layers of hair covered fat rolls. Its enormous head was bulging with so much blood forced into it by an overdose of Viagra, it had turned a deep shade of purple. Its eye was pouring out sticky, transparent lubrication.

Seeing what awaited her, the nun struggled with hopeless force. Her shaking jowls below an open jaw covered in long corkscrewing black and gey hairs, shook sweat off them as she protested her innocence and swore to Mary to please save her virginity (sub-titles – swearing and screaming nun protesting that she is a virgin).

Her two captives with lustful desire, tore and bit with black stumps of teeth at her holy gowns, exposing an incredibly large, fatty mons venus, covered in a mass of entwinned black curls above thighs with wooden legs attached to them. Chanting, they spread them and with the power of Samson, with such force; that they were detached from her. The perfectly shaped hairless, polished black ebony prosthetics glistened to match her skin colour. The two shimmering sticks from the light of the flickering candles fell with a clank to the stone floor.

The pair cawed with delight, as if they had just won the ‘Hellfire’ lottery. (sub-titles - chanting ‘Like a Virgin, touched for the very first time’, and laughing.) A small hunchbacked priest, looking almost as a doppelganger of Quasimodo, rushed crookedly out of the shadows to scoop up one of the wooden legs. Spotting one of the few remaining nuns, all squawking, like chickens with their head’s cut off, as they dashed to and throw inside the locked vault. They flapped their habit clothed arms just like the said chickens, but one was too slow to dodge the crippled, sideways scuttle of Quasimodo.

With a chicken like cackle, he smashed the wooden leg against the back of the skull of one skinny weeping and fleeing nun. There was a loud crack as wood split skin and caved in bone. (Sub-title – loud sound of nun’s back of her skull being caved in). Her dying words. “Oh, I always wondered why Mother Teresa made strange clicking noises as she walked and never wore sandals.” (Sub-titles - what the fuck is going on?)

Quasimodo lifted his cassock and shoved his small wimp penis, its tiny tip covered with a long sagging, filthy yellow foreskin, with little resistance into her open mouth. “Blow me with your last breath of life,” he roared in maniacal rage of lust. (sub-title – I want a blow job.)

She pushed his shoulder. “Hey, you! I have feeling these sub-titles are not exactly being translated correctly.  And how is it that this, quite frankly, the most chaotic, disgusting frenzied orgy I have ever had the displeasure to watch, was ever made in the first place? Its rating should be - ‘To be  shown only in lunatic asylums during midnight mass’!” She paused again. “Oh, God help me, this can’t be happening!”

Quasimodo, with incredible strength, smashed a fist under the nun’s whimpering jaw, making her sharp dentures click together, severing the tiny frankfurter she was gagging on. The teeth, complete with its mouth full, flew to clatter against a headstone and falling to the ground, and then opened like an oyster exposing a very decaying pearl.

“Hey, lover boy. Put on pause.” She untwined and stood up, his fingers sliding out. As he stretched them to relieve the cramping of 37 minutes of constant finger fucking and clitoris rubbing, she spoke again.

“I don’t know if I want to laugh, cry or vomit. I am certainly NOT turned on or scared. You have your work cut out when this film ends. How much more of it is left?” covering herself in the sequinned dress.

Pushing pause, he looked at the frozen screen. “Fifteen minutes, and the next bit is brilliantly construed.”

“I need another wee and need to clean my teeth. Alone this time.”

As she took the few steps to the bathroom, she hiked up the back of the dress and gave him a sexy wiggle, her slit almost seemed to wink at him. Returning a short time later she sat normally on the couch besides him. Pulling her half of the blanket over her legs she slipped a hand under it and felt his soft eggs inside its now sagging sack.

“Hmmm, you will, after this rubbish ends, better have something planned as I need my soul soothing and my hole filling. Are you not going to get into your tracksuit?”

He shook his head. “No, because when I do get dressed just now you have to help me set the stage as we enter this coming midnight of magic and mystery, and erotic wicked wizardry.”

Giving his balls a rather strong squeeze making him gasp and sit up sharply, she giggled. “Now I am very curious. I like surprises.”

Kissing quickly her offered wet and partly opened lips, that let out husky breaths of fresh mint, he started the film again, and looked into her eyes. With an oily voice oozing with sarcasm.“I know you do.”

Holding hands and supping on their respective colas, the screen now revealed that the pair of thug priests had lifted the struggling, legless nun by her armpits high towards the roof. The stumps of her legs were thrashing around in a weird way that mimicked a mad sexual predator conductor at an all castrated boys’ choir. They suddenly stopped, and spread wide to ripping apart point, became as stiff as the docked tail of a boxer dog after the vet had shoved an ice-cold, glass thermometer up its arse. She was lowered onto the shimmery, glowing and spitting head of the heavenly rod, that the priest had with a hand pushed it to point at the very stars of the galaxy. Chanting demon prayers to satin, the two monks clasped their hands around her wrists and with exertion stretched the now shell-shocked nun’s arms out, till she appeared to be black, legless believer nailed to a very short crucifixion cross.

Walking on opposite sides of the stone crypt in a clockwise direction, they started to screw the now silent nun slowly onto the weapon of mass hysterectomies. (Sub-title – lots of screaming in background, priests in perfect unison singing Halleluiah.)

Throwing her head back, making a scream similar to the squealing sounds of a corkscrew being applied to the cork of a holy bottle of Christ’s blood wine, vintage AD 43, flooded, through all five speakers of the surround sound. (Sub-titles -Impossible to describe, just believe its fucking bad, man.)

He watched her as she stared at the screen with wide eyes. He snickered to himself and said sternly. “Just wait till for what I have planned for you next.”

The priest’s singing reached a crescendo  as finally the lump of a nun was firmly screwed down and the glowing knob end had forced its way out of her now loose and very dead mouth.

Suddenly, startling her from her hypnotic observation of the mausoleum act of sacrificial debauchery, just as there was a mighty bang and the huge oak, carved doors of gargoyles, burst open. (Sub-titles - Loud bang.) She grabbed the remote and paused.

“Tell me man of mystery, what is the point of these sub-titles? They should have not bothered and donated the cash to ‘Help stop domestic abuse’ fund. Now what will be the next surprise?”

Hitting play, they watched on with the clammy clasped hands of sex sick lovers sharing an unforgettable incident in their lives together. One to tell their grandchildren.

At least 15 SS Nazi zombies rushed in. Each attired in black leather raincoats, each face adorned with a small black toothbrush moustache and Himmler style spectacles. “Death to the stinking sinning nun-fuckers!”, they shouted in the perfect unison of  German military death squads’ discipline. Each of them was branding petrol powered chain saws, coloured black and adorned with red adorned swastikas, that roared for bone, meat and brains. As they hacked a swathe through the few remaining survivors of the fuck concert, some started to rip Crucifixes from the walls, piling them into a heap. Setting the mound alight, the others turned off their bone cutters.

Choosing a nun with the top of her skull neatly removed, exposing the grey entangled worms formally used as a way to think. (Sub-titles - Lots of screams and sounds of buzzing and growling.) Now the officers of death pushed the head, still attached to the rest of her ripped apart body, into the flaming alter of crucifixes. Standing together in silence they waited for the snap, crackle and pop as the brain roasted in its own baking tray. “Heil Hitler, the nun  can be served up. Pull the stuffed stupid nun out.”

The leader clicked his shiny leather boots together and stiff armed saluted. (Sub-titles - I am not doing them anymore. I only did so for the money, God forgive me.) “Men, get your knives out.”

There followed a feeding frenzy like starving sharks biting chunks out of a sailor splashing frantically in burning oily water, as his ship slowly slips below the surface from being torpedoed by a U-Boat. The credits started to come up as the Nazi zombies, with shiny embossed Skull and Cross bones logo on their ceremonial daggers, proceeded to scoop out and chew on the perfectly cooked lump of charcoaled head offal.

The screen started to darken as schnapps glasses were handed around filled with Gorbachev vodka, and smiling with full mouths and slapping each other on the backs – a single word in old Germanic text appeared in flaming red letters – PROSIT.